Pain Of Love
by The Orgasmic Uke
Summary: It's a connection beyond any other. Something they can't control. But with death sneaking around the corner can they survive the pain they may endore? RoxasXZexion


**Rating: **M for language and sexual situations

**Pairing(s): **RoxasXZexionXRoxas; RoxasXNamine; DemyxXZexion

**Summary: **One year ago Roxas and Zexion went their separate ways. They weren't good for each other so they both felt it was best to break up. Now Roxas has his girlfriend Namine while Zexion is with Demyx. Both have moved on but still think of the other often. One night at a club they meet again. Sparks fly and it's just like old times. But it can't be. They can't be. But they can't resist one another. Once again they are drawn to each other. But this round, it's different. This time, their hearts aren't the only ones at stake. Choosing between the one you love and the one you know is better for you is a difficult thing. Roxas and Zexion have a choice to make. But once it's made, will either be happy? Perhaps it's not possible for them to live apart... Either way... More than one heart shall be broken.

**Warning: **Yaoi! Angst. Little OOCness. Lemons. Heart break.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. The song also does not belong to me. It belongs to Tokio Hotel. But this story/idea does belong to me.

* * *

The pain of love won't break us up. We don't need your salvation. The pain of love will never stop. We are our own creation. The pain of love lives in our hearts. It's deeper that the ocean. The pain of love waits in the dark. We take it in slow motion.

And we go on. And we go on and on and on and on and on. We don't belong. We don't belong, belong, belong to anyone.

The pain of love will last forever. Promise me. Promise me. We'll celebrate the pain together. The pain of love, love, love.

The pain of love in all of us, it hits you like a hammer. The pain of love was can't turn off. Let's celebrate the drama. The pain of love. Don't let us crush. We will be all forgiven. The pain of love. I wanna touch. Without it's not worth livin'.

And we go on. And we go on and on and on and on and on. We don't belong. We don't belong, belong, belong to anyone.

The pain of love will last forever. Promise me. Promise me. We'll celebrate the pain together. The pain of love, love, love.

We climb the mountains; walk the deserts for our love. Let's make a pact tonight so we can feel this pain of love forever.

And we go on. And we go on and on and on and on and on. We don't belong. We don't belong, belong, belong to anyone.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through the cracked curtains. It sprayed across the face of the blonde boy asleep in bed. The sun glowed against his softly tanned skin causing it to look like he was sparkling. His eyes became tighter as he began to rouse from slumber. The rays of light refused to move from the boy's face. He groaned softly and rolled over, pulling the blue sheets over his blonde head.

"Roxas!" A voice entered the room along with a cute blonde girl. She was dressed, her light green eyes searching the room. They landed on the bundle in the bed and a soft smile made its way to her heart shaped lips. She tip toed over to the side of the king sized bed, trying to be quiet.

Then she lunged onto the bundle.

The blonde boy squeaked in surprise at the girl above him. "Shit! Namine!" His blonde head popped out from under the blankets. Namine was lying on top of him, grinning at him innocently. Roxas' pale blue eyes softened and a soft smile came to his lips. "I should start to expect that from you."

Namine nodded as she climbed off of him. She stood, brushing off her pretty blue skirt. She had a key to his apartment so she would usually come wake him up on the weekends. "You should."

Roxas groaned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he moved to sit up. The sheets slipped from his body revealing his bare toned torso. "What time is...? Namine?" He tilted his head at his blonde girlfriend.

Namine blinked, shifting her eyes away from Roxas' bare chest. She couldn't help but stare at him. She thought he was absolutely gorgeous. "Ah, um, what?" Roxas watched her for a moment before chuckling at her. Namine's face turned a light shade of pink. "Well, I can't help it!" She protested.

Roxas grinned at her and reached his hand out to her. "Don't be embarrassed. You've seen more."

She glared at his hand before crossing her arms over her chest. "If I touch you we're going to spend more time in here than intended. We have to meet Sora and Kairi for lunch in an hour."

Roxas blinked, pulling his hand back and running it through his mess of blonde hair. "Oh..." He sounded disappointed.

Namine stepped up beside him and leaned down, kissing his cheek. "Not that I don't want to." She winked at him before skipping out of the room.

Roxas watched her leave before rubbing a hand over his face. He was lucky she didn't notice his little problem. He sighed as he climbed out of the bed and made his way to his bathroom. He locked the door behind him and went to do his business. Once again, he woke up with a hard-on that had something to do with someone other than Namine. It was the fifth time that week.

After doing his business, Roxas turned to the sink to check his reflection. His round cheeks were flushed a light pink from the memories of his dream. His pale blue eyes were slightly blood shoot from lack of sleep and there were light blue bags under his eyes. His blonde hair was in all different directions. He sighed at his own reflection and turned to take a shower.

He started the water and set it to his liking, a little hotter than normal. He turned the shower on and stepped back to remove his only piece of clothing; His boxers. They slipped from his thin hips to his feet and he then kicked them away to the corner. He climbed into the tub and slid the glass door shut.

Roxas moved under the stream of hot water, allowing his whole body to get wet. As he began to wash himself, his thoughts turned to his dream. _Why am I starting to have wet dreams about him again? I haven't seen him in... Almost a year now... I have Namine... so why do I keep having these... very... intimate dreams..._?

A flash of hot, sweaty nakedness filled Roxas' mind and he had to lean against the tiled wall to support himself. He groaned, rubbing a wet hand over his face, trying to forget the image and the pain in his groin. _Why am I never satisfied anymore?_

_**Because Namine isn't male... And she's not Zexion...**_

Roxas hated it when he answered his own questions. He knew he knew the answer already but he didn't need to hear it. His mind was betraying him. He moved to lean his back against the cool tile, the steam from the water starting to fog up the glass shower door. He lowered his head, his chin touching his chest and his eyes landing on his swollen member.

Roxas glared at the deceitful thing. It was begging to be touched, weeping slightly but still at full attention. Roxas was always proud of the fact that he wasn't small in that department. An image of a pale, naked, light blue haired boy flashed in his mind. He cursed his member as it twitched at the image.

Roxas' slightly tanned hand started to make it's way to his member, deceiving him. He bit his bottom lip hard when his hand made contact with his hard member. He hissed in pleasure and wrapped his hand completely around it. He closed his eyes at the feeling.

In the darkness behind his eyelids images from his dreams started to flicker like a movie. His hand started to squeeze and pump at the images. His mind was playing tricks on him. His hand was replaced by a warm tight cavern with a sinful tongue. Atleast, in his mind it was. He could practically feel Zexion's tongue and teeth against his member. Oh how he missed that sinful little boy.

Not able to hold it in any longer, Roxas came with a soft grunt, his seed spilling against the glass door. Instantly, he felt guilty and angry at himself. He stood there for a moment, his hand slipping away from his member. His climaxes were always so intense whenever he thought about Zexion. He couldn't control it... any of it.

He missed Zexion more than anything...

An overwhelming sense of being crushed came over Roxas as he slid down the tiled wall to sit at the bottom of the tub. He brought his knees to his chest and buried his head in his hands. He hot water strayed over his toned body, burning his skin. But Roxas didn't care. His heart ached in his chest as he thought about the light blue haired boy from his past. Roxas knew he made no mistake breaking up with Zexion... but he hated that it still hurt to think about him...

After a few moments of heart ache, Roxas gathered himself and finished his shower. When he saw Namine again, she had no clue what her boyfriend had done or who he was thinking about. She never did.

* * *

_Hot. It's so hot._ Zexion groaned under the pile of covers as he came back to reality. He blinked his eyes open to come face to face with his boyfriend. The blonde was still asleep, his hair meshed against his face from sweat. Zexion carefully lifted Demyx's tan arm that was wrapped around his waist. He slid out from under it to stand up.

Cool air hit Zexion's naked body causing him to shiver. It was the beginning of fall but Zexion liked the cold. His crystal blue eyes narrowed at the sleeping bundle under the covers. Demyx was always so damn hot. The man had to have a high body temperature or something... Or he was just used to Roxas' cool skin.

Zexion blinked at the weird and sudden thought. Actually, it wasn't that odd for him to think about Roxas. He did atleast twice a day. But it still surprised him sometimes. Roxas was over a year ago and Zexion and Demyx had been dating for five months. They lived together for goodness sake. But he still could not stop thinking about Roxas.

Zexion ran a pale hand through his thick blueish-purple hair, moving the fringe over his right eye. The chunk of hair fell right back into place though after he removed his hand. Zexion turned away from the bed and moved to his dresser. He pulled out some clothes and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He placed the clothes on the sink and leaned his hip against it as he looked over his reflection. His light blue, almost silver eyes were sparkling against the light of the bathroom. He had light purple rings under his eyes from his sleeping problem. His hair was a little messy so he considered brushing it. But then he decided to just take a shower instead.

Zexion moved over to the shower and turned it on, setting the water to a temperature he liked. Colder than normal. Once the water was set right he climbed into the shower, closing the deep blue curtain behind him. He had just begun to wash his body when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Zex~?" Demyx's voice trailed through the bathroom. "You're showering without me?" A blonde head popped through the shower curtain, a pout on his lips.

Zexion turned and smiled softly at him. "I didn't want to wake you."

Demyx didn't take his time in climbing into the shower with Zexion. He easily slipped his arms around the small pale boy and pulled him back against his toned tanned chest. "You did anyway." Demyx leaned his head down and licked Zexion's ear. The small boy shivered in response.

"Sorry." Zexion moved so he was now facing Demyx. His raised his head so he could meet the smiling blue eyes of his head taller boyfriend.

Demyx grinned at Zexion before leaning down to place his lips against the smaller males. "Ish okay."

Zexion smiled at his boyfriend and hugged him tightly. Demyx was perfect for him. Good for him. He understood him and accepted him. Demyx wasn't afraid to be with him. He wasn't ashamed of how they were. Unlike Roxas... Demyx was better for him than Roxas... So why couldn't Zexion forget the stupid blonde...?

* * *

After showering with his boyfriend, Zexion left to go to the drugstore down the road from their apartment. The early October air was crisp and cool. He wore a black jacket to keep himself warm and his leather boots clinked against the sidewalk as he made his way. The streets were occupied by a good amount of people for a Saturday morning.

Twilight Town was more like a city than a town. Zexion had moved here ten years ago, when he was eleven, after his father went to prison. He had spent the rest of his life in this peaceful city. He loved that everything he needed was within walking distance of his apartment. The sky was slightly cloudy but Zexion didn't mind. Considering his reoccurring thoughts of Roxas, his mood was actually pleasant.

The bell of the drugstore rang when he entered, the doors sliding shut behind him. The store had a good amount of people in it. Zexion glanced around before making his way toward the back of the store. He smiled softly to himself when he recognized the man standing behind the pharmacy counter.

The man looked up when Zexion stepped up to the counter and smiled at the boy. "Hey, Zex."

Zexion smiled at the tall black haired man. His long black hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and his red eyes were hidden behind black rimmed glasses. "Hey Vincent." He loved seeing the 27 year old at work. It was such a change from seeing him outside of work. He was so clean cut at work.

"Here for your meds, I assume?" Zexion nodded and watched Vincent turn around to the box sitting behind him. He started flipping through the box of ready medication, in search for Zexion's name. "Mazen... Mazen... Mazen..." Vincent mumbled as he searched for Zexion's medication. "Ah." He pulled out a small bag and turned back around. He lifted the bag to read it before scanning it. "A month's worth this time, hm?"

Zexion nodded, leaning forward against the counter. "Doctor's orders."

Vincent shook his head as he typed some things into the computer. "Did they work last time?"

"A little. This is a stronger dose though. So hopefully I'll be able to move on from my insomnia." Vincent nodded than told Zexion how much he owed. The small silver eyed boy nodded and paid the man. He took the bag from Vincent with a smile.

"When will you need to fill your other medication?"

Zexion bit his lower lip. "Um, next week. What days are you working?" Zexion was so paranoid about anyone finding out about his illness. So he always wanted to make sure that Vincent was the one to fill his prescriptions.

"I'll be here all workweek during the day. From 8 to 4."

"Okay." Zexion smiled softly. "Are you working tonight?"

"No. Are you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope. Got all weekend off. Have any plans?"

"Cid and I are thinking about going to that new club downtown. Cloud's club. You and Demyx should join us."

Zexion shifted on his feet. "Mm... Clubs aren't really Dem's thing. But I'll see what I can do. I really want to check it out too."

"That boy will do anything for you." Vincent smiled softly at Zexion.

A light blush formed on Zexion's pale cheeks, making it even brighter. "Yea... Um, I guess I'll see you tonight then?"

Vincent nodded, glancing over Zexion's shoulder at a new customer. "Of course. Call or text when you get there, alright?"

"Will do." Zexion waved at Vincent before stepping away so the next customer could move forward. Zexion smiled softly to himself as he made his way to a certain aisle. He was looking down at the bag in his hands so he didn't notice the person standing in the middle of the aisle.

Zexion bumped into this person causing both of them to grunt in surprise. Zexion stepped back, his eyes snapping up. "Sorry." He said before his eyes actually landed on the person. His silver eyes widened at the brunette staring at him with equally wide eyes.

"Ah..." The spiky brunette blinked his ocean blue eyes before they looked Zexion up and down. "Z-Zexion?"

Zexion took a sharp intake of breath as his whole body tensed. This was someone he really didn't want to see. Not now. Not ever again. "Sora... Uh... Hi?"

Sora stared at Zexion a moment longer before a soft smile graced his lips. "Hi! It's been so long since I've seen you. How are you doing?"

"Good. And you?" Zexion tried to relax. Just because Sora was Roxas' twin didn't give him the right to be mean to the happy brunette.

"Good too. You look great." He tilted his head to the side a bit. "I think you got taller."

"It's the boots." Zexion motioned to his thick heeled boots.

Sora glanced down at them before meeting Zexion's eyes once again. "Are you seeing anyone?"

The guy was blunt, that was for sure. "Um, Yea. I'm living with someone... What about you? Are you still with Kairi?"

"Sure am!" He grinned at the mention of his redheaded girlfriend. "She's actually why I'm here." Sora glanced at the shelf beside him.

Zexion glanced over and saw a shelf full of pregnancy tests. He blinked before looking back at Sora. "She might be?"

Sora nodded, looking a little upset. "I mean, I'm happy if she is but... We're not really ready for that you know?"

Zexion nodded. "Um, well. Good luck." He felt a little bad for Sora but his thoughts were too busy to say anything consoling. "How's Roxas?" The question was out of his lips before he could even think. He mentally cursed himself.

Sora's eyes widened in surprise a bit, obviously not expecting Zexion to ask about his former boyfriend. "Um... He's doing... Okay. Has a girlfriend now. Um, He's living up town while taking classes at DU. Are you still going to KU?"

Zexion nodded, a little stunned at the girlfriend info but he knew he should have expected it. "Yea. Who's his girlfriend?" Again, it was out before Zexion could stop it.

"Namine. You remember her, right? Kairi's twin?"

Zexion nodded. He remembered her very well. The pretty blonde girl did seem to always gain Roxas' attention so it didn't surprise him that they were together. "She's a nice girl."

"Yup." Sora smiled at him.

Zexion could see the sympathy in his eyes. He didn't want that. It wasn't like Sora was on his side when Roxas and him broke up. He should have been since Roxas was being to stubborn and idiotic. Zexion took a deep breath to calm himself. He used to be really good friends with Sora until the break up. He shouldn't of felt betrayed by Sora... Roxas was his brother... But still, Zexion resented him a tiny bit.

"Well, um, I should get going." Zexion said to Sora. "It was nice seeing you again." He glanced at the pregnancy tests. "Good luck with everything. Um, call me and tell me the news if you want. I'm kinda interested." Zexion missed Sora...

Obviously Sora did too because a grin split across his face. "Of course I'll call you! Um, is your number still the same?" When Zexion shook his head, Sora dug into his pocket for his cell phone. Zexion decided to do the same. "Here, we'll exchange." Sora took Zexion's cell phone while Zexion took his. They entered their numbers before returning the phones to their rightful owners. "I'll call." Sora said with a grin as he slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. "I promise."

Zexion smiled softly at him. "Alright. Later." He waved at Sora before walking away down the aisle.

"Bye!" He heard Sora call from behind him.

Zexion's smile grew a tiny bit. Yea, he really missed Sora. He was halfway home before he realized he had forgotten to get what he went down that aisle to get. Condoms. He just sighed and kept walking home. It wasn't too important. They still had a few at home. Zexion was just happy he got to see Sora again and the brunette didn't hate him.

* * *

Sora sat anxiously at the small table with Kairi beside him, sipping her green tea. The bag from the drugstore was clutched in her hand tightly. On the outside she looked so calm but Sora knew she was just as worried as he was. The bag had four different pregnancy tests since Sora wasn't sure which one to get.

They were waiting for their twins at the small café down the road from their apartment. Sora couldn't keep still. He was so nervous and anxious. But it was more than just that. He saw Zexion today. He hadn't seen Zexion since Roxas and him broke up over a year ago. He was happy to see that Zexion was looking good and seemed to be doing okay.

Sora recalled the pharmacy bag clutched in Zexion's hands and he wondered what type of medication the boy needed. He sure hoped Zexion wasn't sick or anything. He made a mental note to ask Zexion about it later. Much later. He wasn't sure if Zexion was serious about being friends again. Sora sure hoped he was. Of course, it would be a little awkward with Roxas and everything...

"Yo." Someone tapped Sora's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see his blonde twin looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. "You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Sora swallowed hard to clear his throat and smiled at Roxas. "I'm okay." He watched Roxas sit down beside him before watching Namine and Kairi go off to the bathroom together.

"So, she really might be pregnant, hm?"

Sora's blue eyes snapped to Roxas'. "How...?"

"Namine told me on the way here." Roxas smiled softly at his brunette twin before reaching over and grabbing his tan hand. "It'll be alright. Even if she is pregnant. You two love each other."

Sora's heart almost burst. How could he hide it? That it wasn't about Kairi... It was about Namine. He hated having to lie to his twin but Kairi was holding a lot over his head. So he kept his mouth shut. For Roxas' sake more than anyone's. He wasn't sure how the blonde would react if there was a possibility of Namine being pregnant.

"Yea. You're right." Sora forced a smile. "Guess who I saw today?" Sora really wanted to change the subject and it was the only other thing on his mind.

Roxas retracted his hand and sat back in his chair, staring at Sora with a raised eyebrow. "Who?"

"Zexion."

Roxas' body froze as he eyes went wide. He was still a moment before he leaned forward, his pale blue eyes glancing around the café. "When? Where?"

"This morning at the drugstore when I went to get the pregnancy tests. We literally ran into each other." Sora smiled softly.

"A-And?" Roxas' eyes were wide, like he was scared.

"And he looks good. Really good actually." Sora took a sip of Kairi's green tea. "He's living around here somewhere with his new boyfriend I'm assuming. He did ask about you though."

"H-He did?" Roxas licked his dry lips, leaning back into his chair.

"Yup. I could see it in his eyes that he still misses you. He seemed okay though. Happy I guess. We exchanged numbers cause he wants to know if Kairi's pregnant or not."

"You told him?" Roxas narrowed his eyes slightly. "And you didn't even tell me?"

"I was standing right in front of the pregnancy tests." Sora shrugged. "I was going to tell you if it was true. I didn't want to scare you or anything."

Roxas nodded, understand. He'd do the same if it was Namine. "So, you exchanged numbers?"

"Yup." Sora grinned, his blue eyes sparkling. "I really miss him, you know? We had a lot of fun together. Hopefully we can rekindle our friendship..." Sora trailed off, his grin fading, glancing at his brother. "If that's okay with you."

Roxas blinked, confused before tilting his head to the side slightly. "Uh, I don't care. You two were really close."

Sora's grin was back. "Great!"

They talked a little more for a few minutes before Kairi and Namine came back to them. Both had a forlorn look on their faces. Sora and Roxas quickly got to their feet.

"Well?" Sora asked Kairi.

She just shook her head. "Inconclusive. It must be to early or something..." She glanced at her blonde sister who's eyes were locked on the floor. "I'll just go to the doctor Monday." Sora nodded, hugging his redhead girlfriend. Roxas sighed, wishing they knew already. It was going to be a long weekend...

* * *

The cool night air felt good against Zexion's pale skin as he stood outside of the club waiting for Demyx to come back from parking his motorcycle. He bounced on his heels, his arm crossed over his chest as he waited. The line into the club was long but Vincent knew the owner thus Zexion knew the owner.

Zexion pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. He found Vincent's number and sent him a text that he was there. Two minutes later the black haired man stepped out of the front door of the club. Zexion blinked at the man. It still surprised him how kinky Vincent actually was. His hair was down, around his shoulder with a red head band covering his forehead. His outfit consisted of leather. Lots of it. Tight leather that showed just how sexy the older man was. Zexion licked his lips at the thought of what was under that tight leather.

"Hey Zex." Vincent said, walking up to him. "Where's Dem?"

"Parking his bike." He smiled up at the taller man. "You look great."

Vincent smirked, looking Zexion over. "So do you." He slipped an arm around Zexion's waist and pulled him to his chest. "Too bad Dem doesn't like to share."

Zexion blushed a deep red at the come on. Vincent always flirted with him. Sometimes Zexion wasn't sure if he was serious or not. But after a talk with Vincent's lover Cid, he knew the man was serious. It flattered Zexion immensely that the older man wanted him. It made him feel better about his appearance. Vincent and Cid had an open relationship. They lived together but weren't completely exclusive. They slept with other man but only at the approval of each other. Apparently, Cid had already approved of Zexion for Vincent. Even though he knew about Zexion's illness.

"Hey! That's my boyfriend!" Vincent quickly released Zexion at the sound of Demyx's voice. Zexion turned to see Demyx running toward them. He reached them quickly and gathered Zexion in his arms, half glaring at Vincent. "You can't have him."

Vincent smirked, raising his hands in defense. "I wouldn't touch your little Zexy with any intent of dirtying him."

Demyx blinked, a soft smile coming to his lips. "I know."

Vincent returned his smile. "Well, than shall we go have some fun? Cid's waiting inside." Zexion and Demyx nodded before following Vincent into the club.

The music was thumping, the lights were flashing all sorts of colors, and hot, sweaty, gorgeous men were all dancing together. It was the exact image a gay dance club should have. Citrus was new in Twilight Town but had obviously gotten a good following. The place was amazing.

Vincent took Zexion's and Demyx's coats to put with his own. After that he led them to were Cid was hanging out by a stair case with two other people. The music wasn't as loud over there and they were able to talk without having to yell. Cid waved them over and quickly grabbed Vincent, kissing the tall man.

"You must be Zexion." A blonde man standing beside a brunette man said, extending his hand to Zexion.

The silver eyed boy nodded and shook hands with him. "Yea. You must be Cloud?"

"Yup. That's me." He smiled, sending a chill down Zexion's spine. Cloud looked so much like Roxas, it scared him. He looked more like Roxas than Sora did. It was odd. Cloud's blue eyes glanced at Demyx. "Ah, and you're Demyx." He shook the other blonde's hand. "This is Leon." Cloud said, nudging the quite brunette in the ribs. Leon gave them each a once over and just nodded his head in greeting. Cloud rolled his eyes at his lover. "What do you think of the place?"

"It's great." Zexion said, smiling.

"Glad you think so. This took three years to come to life." Cloud said with a grin, obviously proud of his work.

"It's amazing." Zexion said, looking around the place.

"Ah, you should experience it properly." Cloud held out his hand to Zexion. "Dance with me?"

Zexion blushed at the offer. This tall godlike man was asking him to dance? Zexion wasn't sure how to answer. But before he could, Vincent patted Cloud's extended hand and let his hand rest on Zexion's shoulder.

"Sorry Cloud. But his first dance belongs to me." Vincent spoke with a smirk.

Cloud blinked, glancing between them. "Ah. Fine then. I can wait."

Vincent nodded and grabbed Zexion's hand, leading him toward the dance floor. Zexion stopped though causing Vincent to look back at him. Zexion's eyes were on Demyx. "Dem?"

The blonde blinked, glancing between his boyfriend and the tall raven haired man. Demyx let a smile come to his lips and waved a hand at Zexion. "Go dance. I don't dance, you know that. Have fun."

Zexion pulled his hand from Vincent's and jumped on his boyfriend. Demyx chuckled and wrapped his arms around Zexion in a hug. This was why Zexion loved being with Demyx. He didn't hold him back. He let him do what he wanted to do and trusted him not to do anything wrong.

"Thanks Dem." Zexion gently kissed his boyfriend before skipping off after Vincent. Demyx smiled at his boyfriend before turning to Cid to finish their conversation.

"Aw, that's so sweet." Vincent said pulling Zexion close to him once they were on the dance floor. "He really doesn't care what you do, does he?"

Zexion shook his head. "As long as I'm safe and don't cheat on him, he's cool."

"Trust is a big thing to have in a relationship." Vincent spoke, wrapping his arms around Zexion's thin waist. "You're lucky."

Zexion glanced over at Demyx as he and Vincent started moving together to the music. "Yea, I am."

* * *

"Sora, why are we doing this?" Roxas whined softly beside his brunette twin as they walked down the sidewalk.

"Because we have to support him Roxas. Besides, I want to do something to take my mind off of this whole pregnancy thing." Sora said with a grin.

Roxas sighed softly. "We haven't seen him in over two years, Sora. Why now?"

"Because he called and asked if we would come. He's still our brother, Roxas."

"Yea... I know..." Roxas decided to stop whining and take it like a man. It was just a club anyway. They would stop by; see their brother, then leave. Simple enough.

When they finally arrived at the club, Roxas almost tripped over himself at the line. Nothing but men. He swallowed hard at the sight. He had a hunch it was a gay club. Sora didn't seem bothered by it though. He walked right up to the man guarding the door and told him who they were.

"Ah, you're Cloud's brothers." The tall burly man looked them over, his eyes lingering on Roxas. "He's been expecting you for a while now."

Sora smiled up at him causing the man to falter slightly. "Yea, Sorry. We've been busy. But here we are."

"_You're_ Cloud's brothers?" A voice from the door spoke. A tall buzzed blonde man with a goatee stepped out of the door followed by another blonde, obviously younger than him.

Sora tilted his head at the man. "Yes. Do you know him?"

"Sure do." The buff man saluted them with two fingers. "Name's Cid. I'm a long time friend of Cloud's."

Sora grinned at him. "I'm Sora! It's nice to meet you!"

"You too, Kid." Cid nudged the boy behind him who's eyes were locked on Roxas. Roxas felt uncomfortably under the guy's stare. He was staring at Roxas with wide blue eyes, like he was in shock or something. Roxas did like the guy's hair cut though. "This is Demyx. A friend of a friend of a friend." Cid smirked.

Sora waved at him. "This is Roxas." He nudged his brother who forced a smile. Demyx's eyes narrowed at Roxas and Roxas suddenly felt scared. Like this guy wanted to eat him or something.

Cid adjusted the goggled on top of his head. "Well, Cloud's inside somewhere. Shouldn't be hard to find him. He's probably still on the dance floor." He glanced at Demyx who nodded. "We gotta get going. Have fun you two." He winked at them before walking past them, Demyx not far behind.

"Inside we go!" Sora announced, walking through the black double doors. Roxas glanced back at Demyx, wondering why it seemed like the guy hated him. He shook his head before following after his brother.

There was a softly lit hallway that led to a large room. The music was loud and the lights were bright. Roxas was starting to wish they hadn't come. He followed behind Sora closely, trying not to bump into anyone. Sora was looking all over the room trying to find Cloud.

"Leon!" Sora shouted and started walking faster.

Roxas nearly tripped over his own feet trying to keep up with his twin. Finally they reached a staircase were Roxas recognized Leon. Cloud's lover of over five years. Sora bounced up to the static brunette who was leaning back against the staircase.

"Where's Cloud?" Sora asked him, not having to shout since it wasn't so loud over there.

"Dance floor." Leon jabbed his thumb in the direction. "He'll be back soon."

Sora grinned up at him. "Okay."

Leon's eyes landed on Roxas. "He'll be happy to see _both_ of you."

Roxas avoided his gaze, knowing Leon didn't like him. Roxas stepped back to lean against the wall by the staircase. He'd say hi to Cloud and then leave. He really didn't want to be there.

"Here he comes." Sora said, pointing toward the crowd. He squinted his eyes. "Does he have someone with him?" Leon only nodded.

"Sora?" Cloud said in surprise when he spotted the brunette. "Sora!" Cloud made his way through the crowd leaving the person with him behind. He quickly made his way to Sora and engulfed the brunette in a hug. "You came!"

Sora laughed and hugged his older brother back. "Yup! About time, right? Roxas came too."

Cloud released the brunette when he saw Roxas standing behind Sora. Cloud swallowed the lump in his throat and stepped up to his blonde younger brother. "Roxas."

Roxas took a deep breath. "Cloud..." He glanced around the room. "This place is... Incredible." He wouldn't lie to his brother. It really was an amazing place.

Cloud smiled softly. "Thank you. For coming."

Roxas nodded. "Yea..."

Cloud blinked and looked around. "Where are Cid and Demyx?"

"They left." Leon said.

Cloud raised a blonde eyebrow. "To?"

Leon only shrugged. "Something about a new part of Demyx's bike... Cid told Vincent so I'm sure he'll tell..." Leon trailed off. "We'd he go?"

Cloud blinked and turned around. "Crap. I lost him in the crowd."

"Vincent's with him. He'll be fine."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Cloud." A deep voice spoke scaring Sora and Roxas. A tall man with long raven hair came down the staircase. "Have you seen Zexion? I lost him."

Roxas tensed at the name. Cloud tilted his head the man. "I thought he was with you?"

"He was. But he ran off."

Cloud shook his head. "You were supposed to watch him, Vincent. Did you atleast tell him about Dem?"

"Yea." Vincent stepped up beside Sora. He blinked at the brunette and looked him up and down.

"Hey, don't even think about it." Cloud warned. "He's my little brother and he's only 21."

Vincent's red eyes focused on Cloud. "So? Zexion's only 21. Hasn't stopped me."

"You're such a pedophile." Cloud poked Vincent's arm, jokingly.

Vincent just shrugged. "Can't help it. I like 'em young."

"Um, Zexion?" Sora said, speaking up. Roxas was frozen in his spot.

Cloud and Vincent turned to him. "Yes, he's a friend of mine." Cloud said, glancing around the place. "I hope he didn't get lost. He's so damn cute... I'm sure he'll get kidnapped or something."

"Ah... This... Zexion... What's his last name?" Sora asked, glancing at Roxas. Zexion sure wasn't that common of a name...

"Mazen." Vincent answered.

That was enough proof for Roxas. Without a second thought he took off through the club. The other men stood there, confused. All except Sora. Sora watched his twin's blonde head disappear. "Um..." Sora looked up at Cloud. "That's the guy I told you about."

Cloud's eyes widened. "I-It is?"

"Mind filling me in here?" Vincent asked.

And so Sora told them everything.

About how Zexion and Roxas met three years ago.

About their intense connection and relationship.

About Roxas' insecurity about being with another male.

About Roxas' determination not to be homosexual...

About their horrible heartbreaking break up...

And Vincent told Sora how he knew Zexion.

And about Zexion's severe illness...

* * *

_It's not him. It can't be Him... It wasn't him. I was just seeing things._

Zexion repeatedly told himself as he leaned on the cold stone wall of the club. He was in the alleyway between the club and the restaurant beside it. His back was against the stone as he tried to catch his breath. He was cold since he didn't have his coat and his arms were bare. The black tank top didn't give much heat. He rubbed his hands over his arms trying to warm himself.

After dancing with Cloud and Vincent for what seemed like forever they decided to go back for a drink. But when he was following Cloud, the blonde yelled 'Sora!' and it scared him. When he looked up, sure enough, he saw Sora. He also saw Roxas lingering behind him. Zexion didn't know what to do.

His heart had exploded in his chest and next thing he knew he was running out of the club. He remembered hearing Vincent call after him but he just had to get outside. The cold night air felt great against his hot sweaty skin.

Zexion had seen him. He saw Roxas and his heart ache returned. He clutched a hand to his chest, the pain as bad as he remembered. As bad as the day Roxas broke his heart. There was no doubt in his mind. That was Roxas. Otherwise, he wouldn't feel this much pain.

But why was Roxas there? Sora too? It didn't make any sense...

After a few moments, Zexion was finally able to calm his racing heart. He pushed off of the wall and started to make his way back to the side walk. He kept his eyes on the ground before him, his fringe of light blue hair taking away half of his vision. He stepped out onto the sidewalk his boots clicking against the concrete. He took a deep breath, raised his head and was suddenly ran into.

The force of the other person's body caused Zexion to fall backwards onto his bum. He cursed loudly, scrapping his elbow and hand. "Damnit." He hissed rubbing his lower back.

"I'm so..." The voice trailed off.

Zexion narrowed his eyes and raised his head to look up at the person. But when his silver eyes met pale blue all conscious thought left his mind. There was Roxas. Kneeling down in front of him, ready to help him up. Only Roxas was just as frozen as Zexion was.

Just as quick as he had fallen, Zexion was on his feet. Roxas stood as well but a little slower, his movements' jerky. Zexion narrowed his eyes slightly at Roxas and turned on his heel, walking away. It took Roxas a moment to register that Zexion was walking away.

"Wait!" Roxas lunged forward and grabbed Zexion's hand. The silver eyed boy hissed and ripped his hand from Roxas. Roxas saw blood dripping from Zexion's hand and realized why Zexion pulled away. He was hurt. But he wasn't walking away. He stood half facing Roxas but his eyes were on his scrapped up hand. "Zexion, I'm sorry." Roxas stepped toward him slowly, afraid Zexion might take off. But Zexion stayed still.

Roxas carefully took Zexion's wounded hand to get a better look at it. Zexion didn't fight him. Roxas looked over the slightly bleeding wound. Zexion hand was warm in his and was sending sparks down both males' spines. "You're hurt. I'm sorry. I didn't see you. You just suddenly appeared."

"My fault then..." Zexion voice was soft and guarded.

Roxas couldn't blame him. "My apartment's near by. I have some stuff to put on this."

Roxas didn't exactly say it, but Zexion knew there was a question in there. _Do you want to come over?_ Zexion debated for a moment. Demyx had ditched him to go work on bikes with Cid. "Okay."

Roxas wanted to grin. He wanted to jump for joy. But he knew that would be a little too much. So he settled with a soft smile. "Great." He eyed what Zexion was wearing. "Do you have a coat?" Zexion shook his head so Roxas removed his own jacket. Zexion eyed Roxas but took the coat anyway. "It's this way." He started walking, making sure Zexion would follow. He did.

* * *

"Here, sit on the couch. I'll be right back." Roxas said after they entered his apartment. He left Zexion in the living room before disappearing into another room.

Zexion glanced around the place and found it to be a really nice place. It didn't surprise him to see that Roxas had moved from the apartment they once shared. Both went their separate ways. Zexion hadn't seen or spoken to Roxas since the day he moved out. It was strange to be in his new apartment.

The apartment was nice, about the size of his own. It fit Roxas perfectly as far as Zexion could tell. He moved to the couch while removing Roxas' jacket. His elbow and hand stung as he sat down. He was careful not to get blood on anything, even Roxas' jacket.

A few moments later, Roxas walked back into the room with a first aid kit. He walked over to Zexion and sat on the coffee table across from him. He opened the kit and dug through it. He reached for Zexion's hand and started to clean the blood from it. Zexion watched Roxas carefully while the blonde's blue eyes stayed locked on Zexion's hand.

Roxas dressed Zexion's hand before doing his elbow as well. Finally Zexion's wounds were all taken care of. Roxas put everything back into the first aid kit, closed it then set it beside him on the table. Both boys were quiet. Neither knew what to say. Roxas didn't think about what he would do after he treated Zexion's wounds.

"So..." Roxas started. "You were at Citrus?"

"Yes... So were you."

"Cloud's my older brother."

Zexion stared at him, slightly surprised. He dated Roxas for almost two years and he had no idea the blonde had an older brother. "Oh..."

"Sora told me... He saw you this morning."

"Yea..." Zexion blinked. "Is she pregnant?"

Roxas shook his head. "They don't know. It's too soon to tell."

"Oh..." Zexion adverted his eyes to the white carpet, not sure what to do. His body was screaming at him. It wanted Roxas' touch so bad that his heart was pounding and his blood was rushing. He couldn't think straight.

"Zexy?"

Zexion tensed at the nickname. No one had called him that since... Well since Roxas last called him that. Once, Demyx called him Zexy and he snapped at him. No one's called him that ever since. Zexion forced his eyes away from the floor and met Roxas' wavering blue eyes.

"You look really good."

Zexion swallowed the lump in his throat. "S-So do you." He wanted him so bad...

Before he could stop it, Roxas leaned forward and caught Zexion's lips with his own. At that simple touch Zexion melted under Roxas. Neither knew why they were doing it, only that they were following their instincts and what their bodies wanted. Their lips stayed locked together as Roxas moved off the table and climbed into Zexion's lap. He straddled the pale boy while Zexion's arms wrapped around his waist.

Zexion's hands gripped Roxas' hips tightly while Roxas' hands moved to cup Zexion's face. He missed the taste of Zexion. His tongue slipped between those sinful lips and a chill went up his spine when that sinful tongue met his own. Roxas slid his tan hand back through Zexion's hair, moving the fringe over his right eye back and tucking it behind his ear.

Zexion pulled Roxas closer till their chests were pressed together. Although they were the same height, Zexion had to lean his head back to kiss Roxas properly. Roxas was a little taller when in his lap. Roxas buried his hand in Zexion's light blue hair, pulling his head closer to deepen the kiss. He missed these feelings. The taste. All of it.

They pulled apart for air, both panting lightly. Their eyes locked no questions in them. Just lust. Roxas moved off of Zexion, grabbed his good hand and pulled him to the bedroom. Zexion kicked the door shut behind him before he was tossed onto the fluffy king sized bed. Roxas was always stronger than him.

Zexion's back hit the bed with an 'oomph' and before he knew it Roxas was on top of him. The blonde moved his hands up Zexion's thighs separating his legs before moving between them. Their lips met again in a fierce battle for dominance although they already knew who would win.

Zexion ran his pale hands up Roxas' shirt feeling the cool toned skin. Roxas shivered at the touch, his heart pounding in his chest. Their lips parted for only a second so Zexion could remove the blonde's shirt. When their lips met once again it was a bruising force. Lust and passion was starting to take over both of their minds and bodies.

They quickly removed the rest of their clothing until both were naked, sweating and panting. Zexion's hands had a good hold of Roxas' head, keeping him there close in their kiss. Roxas' hands were traveling lower to Zexion's hard member. His cool hand brushed Zexion's member causing the boy to gasp in surprise and release Roxas' head.

Roxas smirked at pale boy, whose eyes were clouded with lust. He slipped his hand between those pale cheeks and felt Zexion's entrance. The pale boy moaned softly, his eyes sliding shut at the touch. Roxas leaned his head down to Zexion's neck where he started to bite at it. The noises he received were enough to send him over the edge alone. But not yet.

Roxas knew Zexion. It may have been a year since they were together. But he knew Zexion. Roxas leaned back, reaching toward his side table and pulling open a drawer. Zexion watched him with one eye while panting lightly. Roxas dug through the drawer before he found what he wanted. He pulled out a silver square and closed the drawer. He ripped the condom open with his teeth and easily slid it onto his own member.

When his eyes met Zexion's once again, the silver eyes were smiling at him. Roxas knew he had done well. He placed his member at Zexion's entrance and easily slid into the tight cavern. Zexion gasped, his legs wrapping around Roxas. The blonde leaned down and wrapped his arms around Zexion's torso. Carefully he lifted Zexion up and leaned back so that Zexion was sitting in his lap. It was Zexion favorite position and Roxas knew it.

Zexion buried his head in Roxas' slightly tanned neck and began to carefully ride the blonde. His hips moved up and down along with Roxas'. Roxas' hands gripped Zexion's hips tightly, his nails starting to dig in. Zexion couldn't control the amount of noises coming from him. He just couldn't. He hadn't felt this amazing since last he was with Roxas. Only Roxas knew what he liked. Only Roxas knew how to touch him. Only Roxas knew how to please him this much.

Zexion's heart started to swell in his chest with each thrust. He still loved Roxas. He knew it all along but never wanted to admit it to himself. But now he couldn't deny the overwhelming feeling of love that overtook his body. Roxas felt it too. He held Zexion as tightly as he could causing Zexion's member to move against his stomach. Both loved the feeling and the friction.

Roxas had forgotten how tight Zexion really was. Namine could never compare to Zexion. Not in a million years. He was starting to think no girl ever would. Just that morning Roxas had been jerking off in his shower thinking about this sinful boy and now he was fuc... No... Making love to him. All in one day, Roxas' world had been turned upside down. Just like it had the day he first met Zexion.

Roxas felt Zexion clench tighter around his member and he knew the boy was about to reach his end. Roxas was close too. With two more thrusts, Zexion came hard against Roxas' stomach while sinking his teeth into Roxas' neck. Zexion clenched tightly around Roxas' member and with one more thrust he came just as hard into the boy, seeing white for a few seconds.

The pleasure was overwhelming. Zexion fell backwards onto the bed, pulling Roxas with him. Roxas stayed where he was, nuzzling his nose into Zexion's throat and enjoying his afterglow. Zexion's arms stayed wrapped around Roxas, his eyes closed tightly, not wanting to wake up from his dream. But it wasn't a dream. It was real.

They were silent for the longest time. Zexion thought Roxas might have fallen asleep but he was proven wrong when the blonde lifted his head to peck Zexion's lips. Carefully, Roxas removed himself from inside Zexion. Zexion felt empty after Roxas' member was gone. He didn't like it. Zexion allowed his arms to loosen around Roxas as the boy moved to lift himself above Zexion so all his weight wasn't on him.

Their eyes locked and not one saw any ounce of regret. Roxas smiled softly and looked down between them. "We made a mess..." He spoke softly. Zexion watched him as he lowered his head to Zexion's stomach. His tongue started to leave his mouth and that was when Zexion snapped out of it.

"No!" Zexion pushed Roxas off him with so much force the blonde fell off the bed. "Shit! I'm sorry!" Zexion crawl to the edge of the bed. "Are you okay?"

Roxas was sitting on the floor, rubbing his head. "What the hell was that?" He asked half glaring up at Zexion. He was sure Zexion loved it when he cleaned him like that.

"I'm sorry." Zexion's face turned a dark shade of red. "I..." Zexion shook his head and crawled off the bed. Roxas watched him with confusion as the boy walked into the bathroom. Roxas stayed on the floor, curious as to what was going on. He heard water running than it was off. Zexion walked back into the room holding a wet paper towel.

Zexion moved to kneel in front of Roxas. The blonde watched as Zexion cleaned Roxas' stomach of Zexion's seed. Roxas watched Zexion's muscles flex as he cleaned. Roxas licked his lips, loving the sight of the pale boy. He was just so damn gorgeous. Then Zexion cleaned himself up. After doing so he threw the paper towel away and started to dress himself. Roxas snapped out of his daze and quickly got to his feet.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed." Zexion snapped at him.

Roxas stood there a few seconds stunned. What the hell had he done? Two seconds ago Zexion was cleaning him up lovingly, now he was angry at him? "I see that. But why?"

"We... shouldn't have done this." Zexion wouldn't look Roxas in the eyes.

Roxas' heart sank. He quickly made his way to Zexion and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "Don't leave. We can talk about this."

Zexion stood still, holding his shirt in his hands, already having put on his pants. "There's nothing to talk about." Zexion's heart felt like it was breaking once again. "You have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. We broke up for a reason. We don't work. We're not good for each other. We're better off apart."

The words stung. They were the same words Roxas had said to Zexion a year before. Now he knew how Zexion felt that day. Roxas tightened his grip on Zexion, burring his head in his back. "Please don't leave." He mumbled.

It tore Zexion in two to push the blonde away from him. "It's too late to change you're mind Roxas." Zexion pulled his shirt on and gave Roxas a good glare before leaving him alone.

Roxas stood there in the middle of his bedroom, staring at the door which Zexion left. He heard the door of his apartment slam and he knew Zexion was gone. Roxas knew he had no right to chase after him. Roxas had broken it off. He had broken Zexion's heart. But now... It felt so different. Roxas didn't want Zexion away from him. He wanted Zexion right back in his arms. Where he belonged.

The anguish from earlier that morning returned and Roxas crumbled to his knees. The pain flowed through his body like never before. Zexion had never rejected him before. He didn't have his heart broken. A year ago, that was what he did to Zexion. And now Zexion was doing it to him. He finally understood how he felt... but maybe... just maybe... Zexion was doing it for the same reason Roxas had that year ago...

Zexion knew they couldn't work. But that was only because neither was willing to change... Maybe if they were... it would work this time. Roxas had new determination.

* * *

Zexion had no idea how he made it back to his apartment. After he left Roxas' he broke down in an alleyway. Once he had calmed himself, he found himself back home. The living room light was on when he walked into the apartment.

"Zex? That you?" Demyx's voice called out but Zexion didn't answer. He only removed his shoes. "Zex?" Demyx got up from the couch and made his way to the entrance hall. "Ah, it is you." Zexion froze before lifting his head to meet Demyx's eyes. The blonde's eyes widened. Zexion's eyes were red and puffy from crying. "Zex! What happened?" Immediately, Demyx was in front of him, his warm arms wrapped tightly around his shivering boyfriend.

Zexion broke down once again, spilling everything to his boyfriend. Demyx didn't say a word. Only held his boyfriend as he sobbed about what had happened. Demyx wasn't hurt. He wasn't surprised either. When he had seen Roxas outside Citrus he knew something was going to happen. Zexion never lied to Demyx. He was very up front about what had happened with Roxas. He was also very clear that he was still in love with him. Demyx was okay with that, because deep down, he knew he was better for Zexion. And he knew Zexion knew it too.

Demyx had known from the start about Roxas. So he didn't feel betrayed or cheated on. He felt horrible though that Zexion had to go through this. He hated it. He hated Roxas. Demyx held Zexion in his arms tightly as they sat on the couch together, Zexion in his lap. His sobs had died down and Demyx felt it was okay to talk.

"Were you atleast safe?" Zexion sniffed, nodding his head. Relief flowed over Demyx's body. "Good." He hugged Zexion to him.

"Y-You're not a-angry?" Zexion asked softly, stuttering because he couldn't catch his breath.

"No." He gently pressed his lips to Zexion's forehead.

Demyx didn't mean to but somehow he set Zexion off again. The boy started crying again, sobbing about how he didn't deserve to have Demyx. The blonde couldn't help but smile a little. Zexion was just too damn cute not to love.

Once Zexion calmed down once again, Demyx carried him to their bed and laid him down to rest. Zexion was out after only a few moments. Demyx left him there to rest then went into the living room to grab his cell phone. There was someone he needed to call because he knew Zexion would be depressed for the next few days.

* * *

By Monday, Roxas still hadn't left his apartment. He spent the rest of the weekend moping around, doing absolutely nothing. He couldn't do anything. His heart was aching too much. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Zexion back. He didn't care anymore about the fact that Zexion was male. He could cope with that. If Cloud was happy being gay than he could be too. As long as he had Zexion.

But both Zexion and Roxas were already in a different relationship. Would Zexion leave his boyfriend for Roxas? Why would he? Roxas broke his heart... But he knew Zexion still loved him. He could tell. He wasn't sure why it had taken him so long to realize this. No... He always knew he loved Zexion more than anyone else but he was just NOT ready to admit it to himself. That he might be... Gay.

The thought of being gay didn't bother Roxas anymore. IT used to eat at his very soul. But now... All he wanted was Zexion. He wasn't sure what to do exactly. How could he tell Namine that he was gay and still in love with his ex? She wouldn't take it too well. He wasn't even sure if Zexion would even take him back. No, he _**KNEW**_ Zexion wouldn't take him back...

Roxas had been so stupid. Dumping Zexion like he did. The one good thing he really had. He did it out of cowardice. And in the end he lost the only person he ever loved. He hated himself for it too. Why did Zexion have to show up when he did? Just when Roxas was finally starting to forget him... (Yea right...)

The blue eyed blonde laid on his couch, bundled up in a fuzzy blue blanket, his eyes glued to the TV. He wasn't really watching it. Just thinking. He knew what happened Saturday night was wrong. Zexion was right. But that didn't mean he agreed that it was too late. It was never too late.

A loud knock at Roxas' door snapped him out of his daze. He rubbed his nose as he carefully got to his feet, the blanket still wrapped around him. He shuffled to the door, the blanket dragging a bit behind him. Someone knocked again causing Roxas to grumble and walk faster. He unlocked the door and swung it open only to be tackled by his brunette twin causing them to fall onto the floor.

"Roxas!" Sora scrambled off of him. "I've been trying to call you all weekend!" He helped his blonde twin to his feet. "What the hell happened to you?!" Sora looked him over with wide eyes.

Roxas grumbled and started to make his way back to the couch. "What do you want?"

"I came to make sure you were still alive." Sora said, following after him. "I thought Zexion might have killed you or something."

Roxas glanced at him at the mention of the silver eyed boy. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know." Sora watched his twin plop down on the couch. "Roxas, he went home with you, didn't he? Since neither of you came back to the club." Sora sat down on the coffee table, blocking Roxas' view of the TV.

Roxas narrowed his eyes at his twin. "So what if he did?"

"Did you sleep with him?"

Roxas sat up straight, his temper flaring. "Is that really any of your business?"

Sora flinched at Roxas' temper. "Yes, it is Roxas. Cause there is something about Zexion you need to know."

Roxas blinked, his temper disappearing at the sadness in his brother's eyes. "W-What?"

Sora bit his lower lip. "It's... Well, I think you need to know a few things about him. For your own good. Because I know you Roxas." He took a deep breath. "I know what you're thinking right now. You want him back." Sora debated about telling Roxas about Namine.

Roxas opened his mouth to disagree but he shut it. Sora was right, he couldn't argue that fact. "What do you know about Zexion that's so important?"

Sora met his brother's eyes, a forlorn look on his face. "He's sick."

* * *

"Zex~!" Demyx called from the living room. "Someone's here to see you!"

Zexion rubbed his eyes dry before crawling out of his bed. He threw on some clothes before shuffling out into the living room. He wasn't in the mood for company but he knew Demyx would keep yelling at him until he came out. He rubbed his eyes as he stepped out into the living room.

"Sexy Zexy~ what happened to you?"

Zexion froze at the deep husky voice. He lowered his hand to see the man who spoke. His eyes widened at the spiky red haired man. He swallowed hard as those intense green eyes met his. "A-Axel?"

"Sup?" The redhead raised a hand in greeting, a smirk on his lips. "Dem told me you were all depressed and asked me to watch over you while he went to class."

Zexion blinked and glanced at Demyx who was walking over to him. "I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" Dem kissed his cheek. "Call me if you need me." Zexion nodded and stood still as Demyx left the apartment.

"Let me guess." Axel made his way past Zexion and plopped down onto the couch. "This had something to do with Roxas."

Zexion blinked before sitting down beside the tall, lanky redhead. "Y-Yea."

"What happened, hm? Dem was a little... scarce on the details." Axel threw his arm over the back of the couch, behind Zexion, his green eyes watching the boy carefully.

"Ah, um... I slept with him."

Axel raised a perfectly thin red eyebrow. "With Roxas? When?"

"Saturday." It was now Monday.

"Hm..." Axel rubbed his chin. "Explains why Dem's been so... pissy."

Zexion leaned back into the couch, trying to disappear. "Yea..."

Axel sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "Look Zex... I've never met this 'Roxas' but as far as I can see, you still love him. It's not fair to Dem and you know it."

Zexion swallowed hard while nodding. He totally agreed with Axel. "I know... But... Dem's so hard to turn away."

Axel chuckled softly. "Ha, you're telling me." His eyes met Zexion. "Are you going to tell me exactly what happened?"

Zexion nodded. "Sure."

* * *

After talking to Axel, Zexion felt a little better. Actually. He felt loads better. Axel always had that kinda effect on him. He met the redhead last year a little before he and Roxas broke up. They were in the same English class and they just kinda clicked. Zexion would go as far to say that Axel was his best friend.

By Thursday, Zexion was back in his normal routine. School by day, work by night. Thursday he didn't have any classes and was lucky enough to have the day off. He finally decided to go down to Valentine's Pharmacy to pick up his prescriptions. He had put them in only the day before.

When he left his apartment building he realized the weather was getting even cooler. But his black hoodie was enough to keep him warm. He left mid-afternoon and knew Vincent would still be there. Zexion hummed to himself as he made his way to the drug store. The weather was nice in his opinion.

The streets weren't that crowded and for that he was happy. The store wasn't that crowded either. He made his way to the back of the store and saw Vincent standing there with another customer. So Zexion stood a little to the side, waiting for him to finish. Soon, he was finished with the customer and the old lady wondered away. Vincent smiled at Zexion and motioned for him to come forward. Zexion did as wanted.

"Hey. Sorry I missed you yesterday."

Zexion nodded at him. He had to give his prescription to someone else because Vincent was busy. "It's alright."

Vincent smiled at him and turned to get Zexion's pills. "Dem told Cid who told me about what happened Saturday night."

Zexion sighed softly, knowing that was going to happen. "Yea? You going to criticize me too?"

Vincent turned back around, a bag in his hand, and an eyebrow raised. "Criticize you?" He placed the bag down to scan it. "Why would I do that?"

Zexion shrugged, his eyes landing on the bag full of five pill bottles. "Everyone else has..."

"Like who?"

"Axel, Cid texted me... And I know Dem's thinking about it. I've never cheated on him before..."

Vincent shook his head, his long ponytail swishing behind him. "The situation is hard. What are you planning on doing about it?"

"Breaking up with Dem."

Vincent's red eyes widened considerably. "You are? Why?"

Zexion shrugged again. "He... Doesn't deserve to have someone who doesn't love him back. I'm still... with Roxas..."

Vincent sighed softly. "I suppose you're right. It's your decision; just make sure you make the right one." He handed the bag to Zexion.

"I need to deal with this Roxas thing before I get involved with someone."

"You've been involved..."

"I know." Zexion grinded his teeth, gripping the bag in his hands tightly. "That's why I need to fix this."

Vincent nodded. "Alright then. Let me know what's going on when you figure it out."

"I will."

"And don't get too stressed out, alright? Or you'll just get worse." Vincent motioned to Zexion's bag.

"Thanks... I'll see you later Vin." He turned to leave.

"Later Zex..."

Zexion waved over his shoulder to the man before walking away. He had already made up his mind about what he was going to do. Breaking up with Demyx was the best thing to do. He had to get over Roxas before moving on to someone else. He knew that all along but just wouldn't accept it.

"Namine, you can't just hide it from him! He has to know."

Zexion stopped walking at the name. He blinked, looking up and saw two girls standing in the middle of the aisle. He recognized both of them immediately. The redhead girl was obviously Sora's girlfriend, Kairi and the blonde was Namine... Roxas' girlfriend.

"But... He broke up with me Kairi... If I tell him now, he'll think I'm trying to trap him or something." The blonde girl lowered her eyes to the ground. Both of them were turned to the side, away from Zexion. They couldn't see him, but he could see them.

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Sora has known for a while. Roxas'll believe you."

Namine shook her head. "I'm just going to get ride of it. I'm not ready to be a mother. And I know Roxas isn't ready to be a father."

"You can't do that Namine!" Kairi looked like she was about to cry. "Roxas will hate you and you know it."

Zexion bit his lower lip as Kairi continued to try and convince Namine not to abort it. Why did he have to run into these two today? Why is it that he keeps running into people from his past in this damn store? Zexion glanced around, trying to find a way to avoid them but they were right by the door. He didn't have a choice.

He took a deep breath and started walking, like he didn't notice them. He had just barely pasted them when he heard Kairi's voice call his name.

"Zexion?"

He blinked and turned around, trying to look like he didn't realize they were there. He tilted his head a bit at Kairi, narrowed his eyes in thought. "Yes?"

Kairi's green eyes widened. "Oh my god! It is you!" She quickly walked up to him. "Have you talked to Roxas?"

Zexion blinked again. "Uh... No?"

"You do remember me, don't you? I'm Kairi, Sora's girlfriend."

"Oh!" Zexion tried to look surprised. "I thought you looked familiar."

She smiled softly. "Sora told me he ran into you here last weekend. I was hoping to run into you too."

"Why?"

"We need to talk." Her face became very serious.

"What about?" Zexion tried to act nonchalant.

"Roxas. Has he contacted you?"

Zexion shook his head. "No. I haven't heard from him... In forever."

"See~ Namine!" Kairi pulled her twin sister closer. "I told you Roxas didn't dump you for Zexion."

Zexion blinked. "What?"

"Roxas and Namine were dating. And Tuesday he broke up with her, claiming to be in love with someone else. We both kind of thought it was you. But I guess not."

Zexion shook his head. "No, it's not me."

"Hm..." Kairi thought for a moment. "I-"

She was cut off when Zexion's phone started to ring. "Sorry." He smiled apologetically at her while pulling his phone from his pocket. He answered it without looking at the ID. "Hello?"

"_Zexion! Hi!"_

He blinked at the voice. "Um, hi?"

"_It's me, Sora!"_

"Oh. What's up?"

"_Um, I was just calling to see if you've seen Roxas?"_

"Why does everyone keep asking me that...?"

"_... Someone else asked you that?"_

"Yea, your girlfriend." Kairi blinked when Zexion looked at her. "She's standing right in front of me."

"Is that Sora?" She asked.

Zexion nodded at her question.

"_Oh... how?"_

"We ran into each other. No, I have not heard from Roxas and I doubt I will."

"_Oh you will! I'm just surprised he hasn't yet..."_

"Maybe because I've moved and have a different number?"

"_Oh... That could be why. Um, Okie! Well, call me when you have talked to him, k?"_

"Uh, sure..."

"_Bye!"_

"Bye..."

Zexion closed his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Kairi was watching him with curious eyes. "He wanted to know if I had heard from Roxas..."

Her eyes, along with Namine's, widened. "So you **are** the person he's in love with!"

"What? No!" Zexion raised his hands in defense. "Really, I'm not." Zexion wasn't just trying to convince them, he was trying to convince himself. The way Roxas acted Saturday night was definably different than before... The blonde didn't want him to leave. "And even if I was, we are way over. So don't worry okay?" He said to Namine who nodded. "I'm sorry this happened to you, but Roxas... he has a history of breaking up with people out of the blue. He did it to me."

"Zexion... Y-You know Roxas pretty well, don't you?" Namine asked, gaining courage.

Zexion just shrugged. "It's been a year... But yea, I guess I do."

"I if told him I was pregnant, would he stay with me?"

Zexion stood still for a good 30 seconds. "Are you?" She nodded. Zexion's breath caught in his throat. "The least you can do is tell him. I, um, have to go... Good luck." Zexion left before they could say anything more to him.

As soon as he left the store, he bolted. Namine was pregnant with Roxas' baby. For some reason, it tore any hope Zexion actually had of the two of them ever getting together again. He did know Roxas. The blonde would not abandon a pregnant Namine. He did not need any of this.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm, stopping him completely. He almost freaked out until he saw blonde. He stood there, trying to catch his breath while Demyx eyed him warily. "Are you alright?" Demyx took a step closer. "It's unlike you to run down the street. Well... run at all actually."

Zexion shook his head, his eyes becoming misty. "Namine's pregnant."

Demyx blinked in surprise and titled his head to the side. "Namine? Isn't she... Roxas' girlfriend?"

Again, Zexion shook his head. "Was. They broke up. I don't know why."

"And... you were running because?"

"I just ran into her..." Zexion stood up straight and ran a hand through his hair. "Ah... Dem, we need to talk. About a lot of things."

Demyx eyed Zexion for a moment before nodding. "Alright... Let's go back to the apartment."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Vincent asked while leaning his tall, thin body against the door frame. His red eyes watched Zexion closely as the boy moved back and forth around the room, rearranging it.

"Yes." Zexion fixed the dark blue curtain before turning back around to Vincent. "Dem offered to move out but I decided to instead." He shrugged as he turned back to his dresser. "We both moved out."

"I meant about leaving him."

"It's best for everyone involved. I've been selfish long enough."

Vincent sighed softly. "Zexion... This place... Is..." His eyes glanced around the apartment.

"I know it's not the best but it's all I can afford right now." He whipped his brow with the back of his sleeve as he turned back to Vincent.

"It's not the best part of town... It kinda worries me..."

Zexion blinked, a soft smile coming to his lips. "Aw, you do care."

Vincent rolled his red eyes. "I'm just worried about you getting jumped or something. Besides, Hollow Bastian is half an hour from any of your friends. What if... you know?"

Zexion waved a hand at him, dismissively. "Half an hour away was the point. No chance in running into Roxas. Axel lives only ten minutes away, you know that."

"Yes, well, Axel doesn't exactly relieve my worries."

Zexion sighed and walked up to Vincent. "Don't worry, Kay?" He reached up and patted the man's pale cheek. "I'll be fine." He gave him a smile.

Vincent sighed and quickly pulled Zexion into a hug. "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to contact me, alright?"

"Okay." Zexion smiled softly, leaning into Vincent. He loved the feel of the other man. Strong and defiant.

Vincent released him, slowly. "Well, I have to get going. Call me soon, okay?" He searched Zexion's silver eyes.

"I will. I promise." Zexion gave Vincent a reassuring smile. The elder just nodded at him before leaving the very small apartment.

Zexion sighed before going over to the pile of boxes in the middle of the room. His new apartment was as tiny studio apartment but it was enough for him. Sure, it wasn't in the best neighborhood around nor was it in that great of shape, but Zexion was positive. Decorating, he was good at. Home repair, however, he was not.

He stood, staring at the boxes, his hands on his hips in thought. He wasn't sure where to start. His light blue eyes glanced around the small apartment before he pulled out a bobby pin from his pocket. He grabbed his fringe of periwinkle hair and pinned it back so he could work properly. Then he grabbed a random box and went to work.

Zexion and Demyx had broken up about a week before by the small boy's choice. Demyx more or less begged him to stay but Zexion just couldn't. It wasn't fair to Demyx to be with him when he was in love with someone else. It had been so long since he had been with Roxas but that night at the blonde's apartment changed everything. Zexion was hooked once again and he wasn't sure when he'd be set free.

The periwinkle haired boy jumped when his phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. He knitted his brow together as he tugged it out of his tight pants. He stared at the screen in surprise before answering.

"Hello?"

"_Zex!"_

He smiled softly at the warm voice. "Hey Sora."

"_I went to your apartment but Demyx said you moved out! What happened?"_ The brunette genially sounded concerned.

Zexion shrugged though the boy couldn't see it. "I needed a change."

"_Well, you could have atleast told me, you know? So I wouldn't go banging on Demyx's door looking for you."_

"Well, I'm here now. Was there something you wanted?"

"_Yea. Have you talked to Roxas yet?"_

Zexion blinked in surprise at the question. "No. Why?"

"_Oh."_ He was quiet for a moment. _"Well, okay then... I was just wondering since he's kinda disappeared."_

"Disappeared?"

"_Yea. Kairi told me she ran into you last week. So you... um... Know?"_

"About Namine? Yes. I know." His voice was a little bitter.

"_Right. I... It's not my place to say. But um, Roxas really wants to talk to you."_

"We have nothing to discuss."

"_Sure you do! I mean, you two slept together!"_

The line was silent for a while.

"You know?"

Sora took a deep breath on the other line. _"Of course I know Zex... Roxas is my twin. I know when something's wrong. I kinda figured it out when you two didn't come back to the club. Oh, by the way, that friend Vincent of yours? He's awesome."_

Zexion shook his head, letting a small smile creep across his face. Sora was easily distracted. "You spoke to him, hm?"

"_Yea! He told me lots about you! Caught me up. Nothing too personal of course." _He could hear the grin in Sora's voice. _"Well... Except..."_

Zexion suddenly froze, his knuckles turning white at the grip on his poor little purple phone. "Except what?"

"_That... you know... you're sick."_

Zexion gritted his teeth together, suddenly furious at the long haired man. "He had no right to tell you."

"_He was worried. So am I, Zex. I mean, I don't know how bad it is. Or what it even really means. I just know its super bad. Were you and Roxas...?"_

"Yes Sora. We were safe. You're precious little brother has nothing to worry about." And with that he flipped his phone shut.

He tossed his phone onto his couch before grabbing his hair in frustration. He couldn't believe Vincent told Sora. And since Vincent told Sora that meant Sora sure told Roxas. Maybe that was why the blonde wanted to talk. If it was, Zexion sure wanted nothing to do with him. He didn't want his pity.

* * *

Zexion grumbled as his phone once again started to vibrate on the side table. He glanced at it but didn't move. He kept his hands inside the warm purple blanket surrounding his entire body. He was cuddled onto the couch, watching TV. Sort of. He wasn't really watching it. Just staring at it.

He was curled on his side, his head resting on a small pillow, facing the TV. The blanket was wrapped around him and a small bucket was on the floor right in front of him. He felt like shit. The new pills his doctor prescribed him were making him sick to his stomach. How were these pills supposed to make him better if all they did was make him sick? He didn't understand it all but he didn't want to die. So he continued to take them as doctor's orders.

The phone vibrated again but still Zexion didn't move. He was sure it was either Vincent or Sora. Both had been calling him constantly but he wouldn't speak to either. Sora, because he was embarrassed and Vincent, because he was still mad at him. Since Zexion moved and started going to a new pharmacy, he didn't see much of Vincent anymore.

Actually, he didn't see him at all. He didn't see any of his friends. Since he moved, he had been so busy with work and school that he didn't make time for his friends. Not even Axel who lived nearby. This recollection made the boy suddenly feel guilty. He closed his eyes tightly and reached his hand out, grabbing the now still phone.

He flipped it open, the bright light hurting his eyes. He saw he had about five text messages, four voice mails, and over ten missed calls. And that was just today. It was almost noon on this Saturday. Zexion sighed and listened to the worried messages of Vincent and Sora before deleting them. He went through their text messages and was surprised to find one from Axel.

_Ur an idiot. I'm coming over._

Zexion blinked at the message and checked the time. _11:26 Am. _That was almost half an hour ago.

Just then a knock sounded from his door.

Zexion sat up suddenly, but his stomach lurched. Before he knew it, he was leaning over the couch, emptying his stomach into the bucket on the floor.

"Zexion! I know you're in there!" Axel's voice sounded from outside the door. "Now open up!"

Zexion whipped his mouth with the hem of his sleeve, grimacing at the taste in his mouth. He knew he couldn't walk to the door without needing to barf. So he opted to yell.

"It's unlocked!" Not the best idea since it caused another spasm.

The door opened with Axel walking in, shaking his head. "You know, Zex, it's not safe to have your door unlocked." He had a bag in his hand that he dropped on the table when he was near Zexion. "Holy shit." His thin red eyebrows shot to his hair line and he suddenly ran at Zexion. "What the hell happened to you?" He got on his knees in front of the boy, cupping his cheek and looking him over.

Zexion weakly pushed him away, trying to sit up properly. "Medication."

Axel's mouth formed an "o" in understanding. "So I guess you don't want lunch?"

The idea of food made Zexion's stomach growl and lurch at the same time. He grumbled and clasped his hands over his stomach. "I do but my tummy won't let me."

Axel smiled softly, leaning forward and brushing the fringe of hair over Zexion's right eye back a bit. "You're too cute sometimes." He moved to stand, suddenly towering over Zexion. "Greasy food always makes tummy's feel better." He skipped over to the table. Then he froze, suddenly remembering something. "Oh yea... Zex." He turned around, glancing at the open door. "I have a surprise for you."

Zexion's eyes narrowed but he was too weak to turn toward the door to even see who was there. Axel was standing in front of him but the door to his apartment was behind him. "If it's Vincent tell him to go away."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Um, well no. But he wants to come see you. You're not answering his calls."

Zexion huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I have my reasons."

Axel shrugged at this, used to Zexion attitude. "Alright. Well, see, I found this little guy wondering around town while I was on my way here. And what do you know; he was trying to find you! So, I brought him."

Zexion blinked, hoping it wasn't Sora. "Oh God Axel. You picked up some guy off the street who claims to know me."

"I don't claim. I do know you."

Zexion tensed at the soft voice. His whole body felt stiff and his stomach lurched again. He wasn't expecting _him._

Axel raised an eyebrow, motioning for the blonde to walk forward. "So you know him?" He asked to Zexion.

Roxas stepped away from the door, closing it behind him. He moved toward Axel and was finally able to really see Zexion. His eyes widened at the boy who looked close to death. Zexion's eyes couldn't help but stare at Roxas. His heart clenched tightly when their eyes met and his stomach lurched once again.

Axel glanced between them, something seeming to dawn on him. "Holy Jesus. You're _that_ Roxas?"

"What other Roxas would he be?" Zexion hissed at him.

Axel shrugged. "Hey, I'm just trying to help." He placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "And now that you're here, you can take care of him!" A grin came to his lips before he made his way to the door. "Later Zex!" And he was gone before either could stop him.

Zexion cursed his life and pulled the blanket over his head, lying down once again to avoid Roxas' stare. He closed his eyes tightly in hope that Roxas would just go away.

"So..." Roxas spoke softly. "You have AIDS?" Axel had mentioned it to him, offhandedly on their way to Zexion's apartment.

Zexion stiffened under the blanket. How could Roxas ask such a question so casually? Like it wasn't a big deal. But it was a big deal. And Roxas' tone pissed him off. "Yes." He hissed.

Roxas just stared at the lump on the couch. "And is that why you acted the way you did?"

He saw Zexion shift. "What?"

"At my apartment. Is that why you freaked and ran off?"

"One of the reasons." Zexion mumbled. The main reason he ran was because he was scared. The feelings he held for Roxas were stronger than they had ever been and he had no idea why.

"How?" Roxas' voice was barely above a whisper.

"I was stupid."

Roxas bit his bottom lip, his heart clenching tightly in his chest. He stepped toward the couch and when Zexion didn't move, he got on his knees beside the couch. He reached out and grabbed the blanker over Zexion's head. "Zexy... What happened?" He kept his voice soft and as even as he could.

Zexion didn't move under the blanket. He kept his eyes closed tightly. He was so ashamed of what he had done in his past. His illness was a constant reminder of his stupidity. He hated it. But most of all, he hated himself.

When Zexion didn't answer, Roxas tugged at the blanket and was surprised that there was no resistance. He tugged it down till Zexion's head was exposed. His periwinkle hair was all over the placed and his face was buried in his crossed arms. Roxas reached out and brushed the hair away from his face and was greeted with one sharp silver and blood shot eye.

Roxas' breath hitched at the pain in that one eye. He didn't want to ask anymore. He didn't want to know. He slipped one arm under Zexion's waist and pulled the boy into a sitting position. Then he sat on the couch beside him and gathered the slightly smaller boy into his arms.

Zexion resisted at first but stopped when a wave of nausea hit him. He groaned and allowed Roxas to pull him into his lap. He sat sideways on the blonde's lap, his face buried in his shoulder and his hands clutched to his own chest. Roxas kept his arms around Zexion tightly, never wanting to let go of the warm body ever again.

They were quiet for a while, neither willing to break the silence. Zexion found comfort in Roxas' arms even though he knew how wrong it was. He didn't deserve the blonde. He never did.

"Sora told me." Roxas finally spoke softly. "I can't believe he knew before me."

"I didn't want anyone to know. Especially you..." He mumbled against Roxas' chest.

The blonde sighed softly. "Listen Zexy... I..." He pressed his lips together, thinking, before nuzzling his nose against Zexion's soft yet messy hair. "I won't ask how or why, okay? Just, tell me when you're ready."

"Why should I?" His voice was sharp despite the hint of weakness.

"Because I love you."

The words didn't surprise Zexion. He knew Roxas still loved him since the night at the blonde's apartment. But Zexion felt he wasn't worthy of the boy's love. Besides... "Namine's pregnant."

Roxas stiffened slightly. "I know. And I plan to take responsibility for my child. But Namine and I? It's not fair to her. I can't be with her when I'm in love with you." Ah familiar. That was why Zexion broke up with Demyx.

"Why?" Zexion's question was broken and Roxas could tell the boy in his arms was hurting.

"I've always loved you, Zexy." His arms tightened around the small frame. "I was stupid back then. I wasn't ready to accept who I was. That's why we didn't work. It was my fault not yours. And when I realized my mistake... It was too late. You were out of my life."

Zexion was quiet for a while before he mumbled, "I hate you..."

Roxas smiled softly. "I know." He pressed his lips to the top of Zexion's head.

The smaller boy shifted, lifting his head and meeting Roxas' blue eyes. "Aren't you curious?"

"About your sickness?" Zexion nodded. "I am but honestly Zexy? It doesn't matter to me."

"It should. Who knows how much longer I'll live..."

"No one ever knows how long they'll live." He cupped Zexion's pale, cool cheek. "I know I haven't been there for you in the past. But I'm here now. And... I'm not going anywhere. I know I have to earn your trust back but just... Please. Give me another chance?"

Zexion shook his head, leaning away from Roxas with his fists pressed against the blonde's chest. "No..."

The blonde winced at the sharp pain in his chest. "Please Zexy." His voice was so desperate. "I'll do anything."

"No."

A lump formed in Roxas' tight throat and his eyes began to sting. "Why?"

"It's not fair to you." He shifted his eyes to his hands curled against his chest.

Roxas was quiet as it dawned on him. Zexion was afraid. Not that he would get hurt but that _**Roxas**_ would get hurt. For some reason, warmth filled the blonde and he wrapped his arms around Zexion tighter, bringing him closer.

"I love you, Zexion. No matter what you have. I'm willing to accept what you have. I don't care, Zexy. All I care about is you." He cupped Zexion's chin, forcing their eyes to meet but those beautiful silver eyes were closed tightly, clear liquid seeping out. He couldn't look into Roxas' eyes. Because of he did, he's lose what little resolve he had.

Roxas had broken his heart that was true. And for the longest time, Zexion resented him. After the break up, Zexion couldn't take the pain. So, he threw himself into the arms of strange men to numb the agony. He just didn't care anymore. Roxas was all he wanted but he couldn't have him if the blonde didn't even want him. Zexion became a whore and due to his stupidity he caught the worst possible thing.

Once he was diagnosed eight months ago, he changed. He snapped out of whatever it was he was in. He met Demyx and things were okay for a while. But his heart still ached for the blonde that he could not have. Self-loathing was buried deep into Zexion's subconscious.

The night he spent with Roxas over a month ago also changed him. He realized how selfish he was being. He left Demyx for the blonde's own good. He left Twilight Town for his sanity. Being away from where he had spent every moment he had with Roxas was sure to help him move on. Hallow Bastion was far enough away but still close.

But somehow, once again, the blonde had squeezed his way into Zexion's heart.

Roxas brushed away the silent tears rolling down Zexion's pale cheeks. Without hesitation, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Zexion's cold ones.

The periwinkle haired boy's eyes snapped open and he stared into Roxas' blue eyes with his own wide ones. Determination flashed in Roxas' eyes and his hand wrapped around the back of Zexion's neck, his fingers slipping through soft hair, and keeping him in place.

Their lips pressed together hard. Zexion's mind went blank. Roxas' lips on his own was a feeling he had missed. A feeling he couldn't live without. So, beyond better judgment, his eyes slipped shut and he pressed his lips back to the others. The blonde did a little victory dance in his head before kissing Zexion harder. The smaller boy made a soft noise in the back of his throat, almost like a whimper. The noise gave Roxas the confidence to slip his tongue out and run it along the seam of Zexion's lips.

But the boy shook his head, breaking their contact. Roxas kept his hand on Zexion's neck so the boy had to press his lips to the blonde's cheek. Roxas looked at him, confused.

"I've been throwing up all day." He mumbled against the tanned cheek.

Roxas blinked. "Oh." He wasn't sure what to say.

Zexion sighed and shifted his aching body so he straddled Roxas's lap, the blonde's hands finding their way to his thin hips. He wrapped his arms around Roxas' neck and leaned against him. "I'm willing to give you another chance. I don't have the energy to fight you right now. But only under one condition."

Roxas nodded vigorously. "Anything."

"You have to forgive me."

The blonde was quiet for a moment. "Forgive you? For what? I'm the only one who should be asking for forgiveness."

"Forgive me for leaving you."

He titled his head, still confused. "I abandoned _**you**_ Zexy. The night at my apartment was different. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I haven't _**yet**_."

"Oh." Roxas bit his lower lip. "Zexy..." He sighed softly. "We'll deal with that when the time comes. Let's enjoy what time we do have together."

Zexion still felt he didn't deserve the blonde but who was he to tell Roxas what to do? Maybe things could change. Could he risk getting his heart broken again?

Yes. If it was for Roxas, he could do it. He would do anything for Roxas.

Zexion blinked at the realization. He never stopped loving Roxas. He knew that before. But now he knew he never stopped living for him either.

When he was diagnosed, he did want to die. He desperately wanted to die. He knew he couldn't handle it. But he just could never find the will to do something about it. Something always stopped him. That person was Roxas. In the back of his mind. He wanted to live _**for**_ Roxas.

"I love you." The pale boy blurted out softly. "I always have. I never stopped."

Roxas smiled at the soft blush on Zexion's normally pale cheeks. He had missed seeing that blush. He missed a lot about Zexion. "I love you too, Zexion."

The boy finally smiled for the first time in a while. His pale face lit up and his eyes started to glisten. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Roxas' accepting ones.

He would forgive Vincent. He would forgive Sora. They gave him something he hadn't expected. By not keeping his secret, they gave him Roxas back. But Zexion knew that even if Roxas hadn't been told about his illness he would still be here, sitting on Zexion's couch.

It wouldn't be easy. They both knew that. It had never been easy for them. Roxas was going to be a father and Zexion had a deadly illness. They shared their suffering. And now, they shared their devotion.

Time changes everything. When two people are willing to change for one another, their shared pain soon becomes a shared love. A love that perhaps could overcome anything. If the two were willing, they would survive together for one another.

Zexion and Roxas have more roadblocks in their futures. But as long as those futures are linked, nothing can stop them. Nothing can keep them apart. Not even death.

* * *

**I suck at ending one-shots. I really do. I couldn't figure out how to end this properly. So there you go a sucky ending. **

**I hope you enjoyed the rest though. This story is very dear to my heart. It's very personal. Very. I've spent over a year writing this. On and off. I really wanted to write a good RoxasXZexionXRoxas cause there aren't many out there. I hope I did a good job.**

**Please review. I would really like to know what you thought. And please, no flames. **

**Thank you**

**+Matt+**


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